Up Yours! How to Smooth the Way into Every Hole
I’m sure everyone can relate when I tell you how much I love going through other people’s bathrooms. Right? I’m not the only weirdo here, am I? Anyhow, I spent a few days with an old friend of mine a couple weeks ago and while she was showering, I was perusing the medicine cabinet, shelves, and counter drawers. We’re cool like that.
Two’s Company
All of a sudden, I was pulled up short by a surprising find. Does she have two kinds of lube here? Why does she have two kinds of lube here? Who keeps more than two lubes on hand? “Amanda,” I asked, “why do you have two different kinds of lube?” “Oh,” she laughed, “one’s for normal sex, and one’s for…other…stuff…” Why doesn’t she just use the same one for both, I wondered, assuming “other stuff” meant “anal play”. I’d never differentiated lubes before, and results seemed as optimal as they could be under the circumstances. Was I doing it wrong? I decided to ask around.
How Many is Too Many?
Later that night, all of us a few drinks in and feeling pretty loosened up, I posed the question to a few more friends as we clustered around the living room coffee table. Of course, there were some nervous titters, and surprised exclamations, but after I spoke up first, everyone started laughing and even speaking over each other in order to share their boudoir habits. I always use two—aren’t you supposed to? One for one hole and one for the other! We don’t even use lube, just spit. I only use one kind for everything, but it’s silicone and I have to wash really well afterwards. I just use whatever we’ve got on hand—olive oil or coconut oil, but grapeseed dries too fast… and so on. Apparently there was no consensus on lube usage, so I decided to do some research on my own.
Ask the Doctor
I was going in for a checkup later that week anyhow, and, as it was at Planned Parenthood, I figured the doctor would have pretty much heard it all by now and wouldn’t think twice about my anal lube question. “Well”, said Dr. Wright, “It’s really up to each individual, but there’s no problem in using the same lube for both anal and vaginal intercourse, provided the lubrication used for anal entry is friction-resistant enough to stand up to continued action.” Of course she hastened to add the following no-brainer: don’t switch between anal and vaginal sex, unless you want a vaginal infection.
Dr. Wright went on to state that water-based lubricants seemed to work just as well as silicone-based ones, and had far less potential to hold bacteria or other organic material in the body. “It also makes for easy clean up,” she said brightly, as she snapped on her gloves for the cervical swab. “And don’t forget to use clean hands when applying!”
As far as completely organic lubrication goes, Dr. Wright is of the opinion that it’s better to stay away from them, as they are far from sterile, and can quickly introduce a colony of bacteria into the vagina that will cause itching and irritation soon after. However, when used for anal lubrication, the worst you’ll get from vegetable-based lube is the potential for explosive flatulence or diarrhea, due to bacterial interaction within your intestines. Safe in a pinch? Yes.
Best Results
The lubricant that enjoys the most renown for both anal and vaginal usage is System JO H20 Lubricant. It has a silky feel that mimics the glide of silicone lubes, without the potential issues. It’s just thick enough to cushion, without drying out too fast, or becoming overly sticky.
There are a few other options , but this one rates highest for double duty. (SEE:
Water Based Lubricant Guide) Next time you’re in the market for lube, why not see how you can consolidate your interests into one little bottle?